Helping Teens Navigate Healthy Relationships: A Back-to-School Resource
Returning to school means young people are spending more time with peers, reconnecting with friends and navigating new or existing relationships. It can also bring questions about dating, consent, boundaries, unwanted attention and unhealthy or abusive behaviours.
Parents, educators, youth workers and other trusted adults can play an important role in helping young people understand what healthy relationships look like, recognize when something isn't right and know where they can turn for support.
What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?
Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, honesty and communication. A healthy partner respects boundaries, supports their partner's interests and friendships, and helps them feel safe being themselves.
Disagreements are a normal part of relationships, but fear, intimidation, pressure and control are not.
Sometimes, a relationship that once felt right no longer feels healthy. Everyone has the right to leave a relationship at any time. Relationships can be complex and emotionally charged, which can create confusion around how to respond to unwanted or abusive behaviour. It can also feel difficult or frightening to seek help, particularly when dating is not accepted at home.
Friends are often the first people young people confide in. Creating space for open, non-judgmental conversations about relationships can make it easier for youth to ask for help when they need it.
Talking About Boundaries and Consent
Understanding boundaries and consent is essential for building safe and healthy relationships. Consent means freely agreeing to something without pressure, manipulation or fear. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, even if someone has previously agreed to it.
A healthy partner respects another person's answer the first time and does not attempt to persuade, guilt or pressure them into changing their mind.
Trusted adults can help young people understand that these principles apply both in person and online, including when sharing intimate images, locations and access to social media accounts.
Helping a Young Person Who Is Worried About a Friend
When a young person is concerned that a friend may be experiencing an unhealthy or abusive relationship, it can be difficult to know what to do or say.
Here are some ways they can provide support:
- Listen without judgment.
- Believe what the friend is sharing.
- Avoid criticizing the friend's partner, as this may make them less likely to open up.
- Ask how they want to be supported.
- Encourage the friend to speak with a trusted adult or professional.
- Seek immediate help from a trusted adult if there are concerns about the friend's safety, even if this asked not to.
Recognizing Warning Signs of Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships
An unhealthy relationship may involve a partner who:
- Refuses to communicate or uses the silent treatment as punishment.
- Is disrespectful.
- Does not trust their partner.
- Is dishonest.
- Tries to isolate their partner from friends or family.
- Controls how their partner spends money or expects them to pay for everything.
- Pressures their partner into activities they do not want to do.
An abusive relationship may also involve a partner who:
- Communicates in harmful, threatening or hurtful ways.
- Hurts their partner physically, invades their personal space or touches them without consent.
- Is controlling.
- Accuses their partner of cheating without reason.
- Denies or minimizes their abusive behaviour.
When seeking information about relationships, it is important to use trusted sources. Social media can sometimes have confusing, misleading or inaccurate information.
Young people in BC can access support through the following trusted resources:
Youth Against Violence Line | Prevention & Support in BC
Salal Sexual Violence Support Centre
Foundry BC - Free & Confidential Youth Wellness Support
Get support with these mental health resources - Kids Help Phone
Digital Abuse Is Relationship Abuse
Online abuse is just as real as in-person abuse. It is harmful, unacceptable and often more difficult to recognize. Digital abuse should be taken just as seriously as physical abuse and reported to a trusted adult or support service.
In BC, it is against the law to share or threaten to share an intimate image of someone without their consent. Young people who experience this form of abuse have rights and options available to them. More information is available through the Civil Resolution Tribunal's Intimate Images Solution Explorer.
If a young person does not feel comfortable taking action on their own, they should seek support from a trusted friend or adult.
Warning Signs of Digital Abuse
Warning signs of digital abuse may include a partner:
- Demanding passwords.
- Constantly checking a partner's location.
- Pressuring a partner to send intimate photos.
- Monitoring who a partner follows or communicates with online.
- Sending excessive messages and becoming angry when a partner does not respond immediately.
If a Young Person Is Being Threatened Over Intimate Images
Don't Panic. A young person may experience feelings of fear, embarrassment, betrayal or shame, but support is available.
Remember That it Is Never Their Fault. If someone attempts to extort, manipulate or threaten a young person, that behaviour is wrong and illegal. The responsibility always lies with the person causing harm.
Do Not Respond to Threats. Sending additional intimate images or money often leads to further demands.
Stop Communicating with the person making the threats.
Reach Out to a trusted adult or contact NeedHelpNow.ca for confidential support.
Take Screenshots of messages, profiles, usernames and any other evidence.
Temporarily Deactivate Accounts if necessary while seeking help. Social media accounts and images should not be deleted, as evidence may be needed later.
Where to Find Support
Additional resources related to digital dating violence, intimate images and online safety include:
Teen Digital Dating Violence Additional Resources
Is it ILLEGAL for young people to share nudes?
Nudes and the Law: Know Your Rights
Be Someone They Can Talk To
Young people deserve relationships where they feel respected, valued and safe. Trusted adults do not need to have all the answers to be a meaningful source of support.
Listening without judgment, taking concerns seriously and helping young people understand their options can make a significant difference. Letting a young person know they can reach out when something doesn't feel right may be the first step toward helping them access the support they need.
Every young person deserves relationships that are healthy, respectful and safe. Whether they are navigating a first relationship, supporting a friend or facing a situation that feels unhealthy, help is available. Encouraging them to follow their instincts and speak with someone they trust can help ensure they do not have to face difficult situations alone.
YWCA BC provides a free program for young people to better understand and build healthy relationships. Through YWCA Relate youth can participate in an interactive workshop series that helps them strengthen their communication skills and develop the confidence to advocate for themselves and others while building the skills to prevent relationship violence.
Through programs like YWCA Relate, youth build the confidence to set healthy boundaries and build a brighter future. Make a donation today to help keep youth safe.
